So, my life is pretty much an open book. And I met someone tonight quite like me in a lot of ways that I value. Let me count the ways.
First, this person is poly, queer friendly, actually queer too.
Second, there is a very specific list of some stuff even I kinda keep private, kink stuff, that I'm into. I'm not exactly going to sit here and tell any of you how I like the twig and berries fondled, m'kay. Limits people, limits.
Anyways, this person happens to be into a pretty good portion of that list.
So, why am I not already married to Ms. Perfection yet? Ah, glad you asked, Poly Padawan!
Number 3, we are BOTH solo poly anarchists, and we BOTH know what the fuck that actually means.
Solo - One who lives alone, does not cohabitate.
Poly - Multiple, open, honest, romantic relationships, for short.
Anarchists - No rules, hierarchy, ranks, labels, etc.
Why no marriage? We're both the live alone anarchists your mom warned you about. Ok, she probably warned you about the creepy bomb making variety, not the creepy freaktastic sexual variety.
And that brings us to Number 4, which is so fucking awesome, it should be number one. But I had to save the best for last, otherwise, why keep reading?
She's a cis female trans androgynous. And, let me just tell you, from my point of view as a cis male bi... hoooot. She is the cutest guy I've met, from her shaved head mohawk to her skull t-shirt, she's... motherfucking adorable! I thought Miley Cyrus was hot with her new look. No, not even close. This girl... guy... sweet jesus in barbecue sauce...
Now, let me clear something up. I'm going to use the pronoun "she" for two reasons... ok three. Reason number 1, it's the new neutral pronoun. She isn't going for guy, she went for androgynous. She's gender bent. She didn't go guy, she went specifically between. And yeah, that's fucking awesome in and of itself!
Reason number 2, it was her cis gender. And while it's fucked up that the world does it, I gotta refer to her to a lot of people that don't get gender changes. And me... I don't like any of the current alternatives, like ze or zhe. Sounds funny on my tongue still.
Oh, reason three... dat ass.
And by that, I mean she's rockin that body. I see her walking over to my car, and I'm wanting to slow clap everything I'm seeing...
And forget the looks. She could have been a toad, seriously. Her mind is so goddamn beautiful, I wanted to cry. Smart, funny, bold, honest, open, enticing.
I asked her if I could fuck her mind. No serious.
And guess what, we did! Right there, right in front of everyone, and it was loud. Yelling, moving back and forth, laughing... it was so good, we started mind fucking everyone around us. I'd reach out, grab a hand, and immediately start mind fucking them.
Hold on, you perverts, that's what we call "great conversation". She's pretty damn amazing at it.So much so, I actually had to work to keep up with the conversation, and nobody does that. Fucking nobody.
I usually feel 10 steps ahead of everyone, that I could almost always finish their lines and their entire thoughts. Not her.
So what's her name? Tank. No, I'm NOT fucking with you. She IS Tank. And I traveled to the year 2033 to meet her...
Yes, I met Tank Girl, and I'm not saying that's like a nickname or something. She's trans, and that IS her trans name. Now, I have a lot of online handles, but I'm still fucking DeWayne. This isn't the same.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, who talked to her called her Tank. She is not fucking around. She also hugged everyone in sight. Like I said, motherfucking adorable!
I won't tell you what she said... I'm just saying...
... sorry kids, Daddy can't tell you. There's literally less than 0.1% of the world that even comprehends what words went on between our minds.
I wanted to stay longer. The night was awesome for so many reasons. I talked philosophy for 4 straight hours with 4 different people. I was so happy. But it was getting louder by 1:30am, the singing was getting worse, even after full bar sing alongs to Radiohead's Creep.
And I knew the headache was coming. Needed food, quiet, caffeine, and some writing time.
Sure, while saying goodbye, I wanted to throw her on the hood of my car while she shoved my head forcibly into areas of her body that such things ought to go, but...
I'd had a wonderful time, and I didn't want to change it in any way. It was a group creation of a near perfect night with someone. And like a Grateful Dead concert, it's not the same "remastered" by editting as it is live.
Oh, and we have a few other activities already planned. Meditation night and a special trip that I'm not even going to mention until it's long long over and have a real chance to write in depth about it.
I love that we moved fast. Fast is my pace. Sure, we could have moved a few other things fast.
But here's the lesson for you kids. Listen up, Daddy's teaching you something.
I've had sex on a first date many-a-time. Ok, most of the time. I've written about it here on my blog, and that sex has been mind blowing at times.
Why have sex on a first date? Cause I wanna know if that area is gonna be a problem. If it is, I have a real problem. Besides at least tolerating another human being, what they say, how they smell, how they dress, how they talk... the only other real deal breaker up front is how well they fuck. You can be the nicest person in the world, but if the sex sucks, you'd both better be cool with asexuality.
But kids, if its clear that your date can't get any better, sex only fucks it up. Why? High expectations. You will never fuck the other person as better than the night already was. You can't even match it, because that would be disappointing. Unless sex with you will transform a totally awesome date into the skies parting and unicorns jizzing rainbows on you as you climax 10 times in unison... you will NOT succeed at ending the night well.
And, we talked about sex. Lots of sex. Few times do I feel "equally matched", and this was one of them. We're both Jedi Knight (or Sith Lord, depending on your point of view) sexual beings. Jedi Mind Tricks versus Force Lightning, and I can't wait until the light saber duel... sorry, that joke was too easy.
Sure, physical compatibility can't be talked through the same way, but I'm pretty sure there. As we held in our parting goodbye, she felt really good. And by really good, I meant that my arms were really pissed when I forced them to let go.
And when I saw the look in her eyes, the smile, and the way she complimented me on how handsome I was, and how I need better pictures of myself because I'm more handsome in person... shit, I melted. I melted like a little pack of bitch brand butter.
And that's so critical to who she is and who I am. She feels like a woman and a man, and she wants to experience both. She's so goddamn adorable, I feel like a man, damn skippy. But when she's bold like that, and a shy smile from me brings it out more, I literally felt our genders slipping and sliding around each other, no longer clear.
I'm not writing about that here, because I've not explored it enough with myself or with her. But, it was the most... comfortable feeling... I've felt around another queer person. I'm pretty comfortable around queerdom. But... I felt myself bending, felt the change, and I've never felt the change like that. Her gender leaned in, and mine bend back.
My mind was fucking blown, and I turned giddy. I've only had one woman go masculine on me, and while fun, it wasn't comfortable. This was total comfort and ease. I somehow trusted her implicitly. Like there was an unlocking of my internal pass codes at a genetic level to areas even I can't control.
And that's when I told her, she is the cutest guy I've met! And I meant that in a totally gay way, saying it to a cis female. And she knew exactly what I meant. Yeah, mind very much goddamn blown.
In my minds eye, I saw both of her, strong woman and adorable boy... or was it strong man and adorable girl...
You other bi people know what I mean when I say, it's damn near impossible to find a single person who attracts you in both a male and female way. Men and women offer different things on emotional, physical, and psychological levels. To have that feeling in a single person, is like what I imagine it must feel like for straight and gay people all the time, but which bi's never quiiite fully feel. And I just felt it tonight!
I didn't even get to tell you about her voice, her poetry, and her life philosophy... my god.
And sorry, you don't get a peak into anything actually physical. No lurid stories. That "may" change, but consent, boys and girls. All must consent to that first. ;)
My NRE is bursting through the freaking roof. Not to mention that I have another very important post about another very important poly matter in my life that happened last night.
But one thing at a time... until next time.